She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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