Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
