Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
