i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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