You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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