he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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