it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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