I'm going to jail i love you
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
