You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
