She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
