being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
FUCK WHALES
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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