I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
third nipple confirmed
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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