Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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