Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
