I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize