friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
