omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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