he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
