I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
