I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
