you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
