I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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