Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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