oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
