I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
