I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
