my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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