Having a random hookup so left but love u
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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