There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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