I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
P.S. I can't hear my feet
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
