She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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