i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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