So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
