big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
