I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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