at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
