He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
