Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
