i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize