You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
