Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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