Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
