He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
