His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
