Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we made out on top of his cat.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
