With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I had to cum in my sink.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
