I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
