I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
