Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
