I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
