Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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