That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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