if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
