I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
