I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
