I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
