i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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