Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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