Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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