U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
