i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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