Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
